How to Transform Your Marriage: The Courage to Break Free from Old Patterns

At Therapy Co. Counseling, we know that marriage isn’t about perfection; it’s about growth. Every relationship experiences moments of joy, connection, and intimacy—but also moments of misunderstanding, frustration, and pain. When those challenges arise, many couples feel stuck, replaying the same arguments, avoiding the same issues, or silently drifting apart.

If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve wondered: “Can we really fix this?” The good news is, the answer is yes. Healing is possible, and it starts with what Terry Real, the founder of Relational Life Therapy (RLT), calls "full-respect living." We like to teach couples how to lovingly goo toe-to-toe with each other where there is mutual respect, a strong back, and an open heart.

Why Patterns Keep You Stuck

One of the most powerful insights in RLT is the idea that we all carry emotional baggage from our past into our relationships. Whether it’s the coping mechanisms we developed in childhood or the ways we’ve learned to defend ourselves, these patterns often sabotage the very intimacy we long for.

Here’s the tricky part: most couples don’t realize they’re caught in these destructive cycles. You may think you’re arguing about money, parenting, or chores, but underneath, you’re likely battling feelings of disconnection, unworthiness, or resentment…and years of either being unable to communicate it clearly, or be heard in a way that moves toward repairing it.

At Therapy Co., we help couples in Carrollton, Atlanta, and across Georgia identify and break these patterns, creating a path to authentic connection.

What Does Breaking Free Look Like?

Imagine this: Instead of replaying that same argument about who’s right or wrong, you and your partner pause to ask, “What’s really going on here?” Instead of reacting defensively, you lean in with curiosity. Instead of feeling like opponents, you become a team again.

This is the heart of RLT: stepping into radical accountability and learning new skills to build emotional closeness. It’s not about blaming or shaming—it's about growing.

Some of the shifts we help couples make include:

• Moving from defensiveness to openness.

• Replacing criticism with clear, loving communication.

• Recognizing the deeper wounds that drive conflict—and learning how to heal them together.

Therapy That Meets You Where You Are

We know life is busy. Whether you’re in Metro Atlanta, West Georgia, or beyond, Therapy Co. Counseling is here to help couples create lasting change. Sure, you’ll learn skills and tools for relationship health, but what happens when you go home and a fight happens and those skills go out the window? We work with the part of you that won’t use those skills when you go home…the deeper parts of you that are driving the relational issues in your marriage. Our team offers both in-person and virtual therapy sessions so you can access expert support in a way that fits your schedule. Busy and can’t come weekly? We offer intensives so you can deep drive and cover a lot of ground in a few hours or a half a day..whatever prolonged length of time you agree upon with your therapist.

And let’s face it: the most important investment you can make isn’t in a car, house, or vacation—it’s in the health of your relationship. When you and your partner are connected, everything else in life becomes easier to navigate. Couples who are connected have improved health, make more money, have happier children.

Ready to Transform Your Marriage?

Your relationship doesn’t have to stay stuck in the same patterns. At Therapy & Co. Counseling, we use proven techniques, including Relational Life Therapy, to help you create a relationship built on mutual respect, deep understanding, and lasting intimacy.

Schedule a consultation with us today, and take the first step toward a stronger, healthier, more connected marriage.

You deserve a love that grows—and we’re here to help you find it. Email or call/text to book a free phone consultation with one of our therapists.

How to Deal When Conflict is Hard

Conflict in relationships is one of those things that gets a bad reputation. Much like discomfort or pain. We sometimes mistakenly assume that relationships should not have moments of conflict, despair, frustration, discomfort, or pain. It is important that we learn what conflict really means so that we can deal with it accordingly. Typically in couples dynamics, conflict is not usually the problem we face, it is knowing how to deal with it in a way that doesn’t create calamity in our relationships. To have conflict is to be normal. But to avoid conflict, discomfort or pain is to sabotage an opportunity for growth. Conflict is really just growth trying to happen in your relationship.

Let’s talk about our tasty crustacean friend, the lobster for just a moment. Lobsters have a hard outer shell and a soft fleshy inside (similar to many of us at times, right?) So, how do lobsters actually grow if they have this hard, fixed shell? Doesn’t the lobster feel trapped or stuck? The lobster doesn’t start out full grown, so how did it grow to begin with? How will it continue to get bigger?

Well, what we know about lobsters is that their bodies/brains generate a signal to them that it is time to grow...time to shed the current shell and create a new one that is bigger. Guess what that signal is? Discomfort and pain. As soon as the lobster begins to outgrow his shell, he becomes uncomfortable. This triggers to the lobster that it is time to grow. He then retreats to a rocky area where he buries himself in the sand away from predators, and he begins the process of shedding his old shell, revealing only the soft fleshy skin and making him very vulnerable to the world around him. During this time, he is able to create a new shell that will have enough room for his growing body. The shell hardens, and he now has room to grow. This process continues throughout his lifespan.

What does a lobster have to do with couples and conflict? Well, first of all, if the lobster went to the doctor and told him he was in pain and uncomfortable, today’s orientation to medicine might suggest that the lobster should have the symptom treated. Uncomfortable? In pain? In distress? Let’s prescribe Mr. Lobster a Valium, a Xanax, perhaps a Lorcet or a Percocet. Let’s get rid of his pain because pain is bad. Right? Not always.

If the doctor prescribed medication to alleviate the lobster’s symptoms, yes, the lobster would possibly be pain free, but the lobster would never truly be able to grow. The doctor would be doing the lobster a disservice, and stunting his brain and his body’s natural ability to regulate growth.

Same goes with couples who are experiencing conflict. Conflict is an indication that growth needs to happen. We are so afraid of conflict and the discomfort and the pain that sometimes comes with it that we fail to see it as an opportunity for change, growth, and ultimately peace and comfort. There is no detour for pain...we can only go through it. Once we go through it, there is a wonderful world of opportunities and possibilities waiting for us on the other side.

If you are conflict avoidant, you walk on eggshells, you try not to rock the boat and please people for the sake of sparing an argument...try something different: Be a lobster. Know that this is a chance to grow, to create change, and to get to where you ultimately need to be.

If you would like some help learning to lean into the struggles in your relationship, we are here for you. We are happy to help you learn to be a lobster, to help you and your mate grow through conflict and deal with it in a way that is healthy and fosters growth and forward motion. If you’re feeling uncomfortable in your relationship, here’s your sign. The time is now and we would love to help. Call today at 678-796-8255 or schedule an appointment online.

 

The New Year’s Resolution You’ll Want to Make...and Keep!

Here we are, in the midst of a brand new year. The rush of the holidays have passed, we are financially recovering from our excess spending, physically recovering from too many holiday treats, and emotionally recovering from too much hustle and bustle or too much time with family members that we, uhhh, prefer to enjoy less time with. The new year marks a new start, a fresh beginning, and an opportunity to better ourselves. We often focus on resolutions like hitting up the gym, quitting smoking, saving more money, or living life to the fullest. But, how often do we make relational goals with our lovers? Why not shift our focus this year to also attending to our relationships?

Setting relationship goals can sometimes be difficult, especially if we don’t know what goals to set, what we are actually trying to accomplish, or how to make them stick. You may start by asking yourself a few questions:

• If I were to go to sleep tonight, and while I was sleeping a miracle happened with my relationship to my lover/partner/spouse, what would be different? (would we talk differently to one another, spend more time together, have more frequent sex, have more fun together? etc..)
• What would make my relationship with my lover/partner/spouse richer? In other words, if we are already “good,” what would elevate our relationship to “great?”
• What worked well for us this year? What did not work so well? What would be ideal? What isn’t ideal just yet?

Now that you have some idea of what can elevate your relationship, it’s time to set a goal that is SMART. SMART stands for specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-sensitive. The SMARTer your goal is, the greater the odds are of achieving the goal. Not having a SMART goal keeps us stuck in a space that is vague, unclear, and without direction. It is kind of like driving around blindfolded and being upset that we don't get to where we want to do. If we have a vision, a map, and a guide, we can arrive to our destination.

First, we have to get specific. Narrow your focus down to a tangible item. For example, rather than just saying “this year I want us to work on our marriage/relationship,” you may be more specific and be able to narrow it down to “this year, I want us to have more sex/better sex.”

Now that you’ve got a specific goal, you can focus on making sure it is measurable so that you can gauge your progress. How will you know you’ve achieved your goal? What will be different? What will there be more of when this goal is accomplished? What will there be less of when this goal is accomplished? What might a fly on the wall observe differently that would indicate you’ve reached this goal? What kind of time frame are we looking at? For example, “we will know we have reached our goal of having more sex when my wife initiates more often”, “when we are having sex more spontaneously,” “we will decrease our weekly arguments from 5x per week to only once per week.”

Once your goal is specific and measurable, we want to ensure it is attainable and realistic. If your goal is to have sex with your partner 7days a week, but your partner’s goal is to have sex once per week, it may not be attainable nor realistic to strive towards having sex 2-3x per day. This is also a good time to consider HOW you will go about achieving your goal and what has been getting in the way thus far.

Finally, you want to make sure your goals are time-sensitive. This will provide a launching pad for you to be able to measure more effectively and to monitor progress. You can set a daily goal, weekly goal, a monthly goal, a quarterly goal, a 6 month goal, or an annual goal. These will serve as checkpoints to keep you on track. Time-sensitive goals not only help you create checkpoints, but they also ensure that your goals are attainable and realistic. If you and your partner have stopped having sex, it might not be realistic to reach your goal of having sex 2-3x per week during the first week.

Putting it all together:

Now that you have all the parts of a smart goal: it is specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-sensitive, you are ready to become action focused. Now you can examine the smallest thing you need to do between now and your time checkpoint to keep yourself accountable and in check. Here’s what it all looks like:

• My lover and I will have a better sex life when we can eliminate electronics in the bedroom and can set an earlier “bedtime” for the next month.
• By the end of 3 months, I will be more spontaneous as evidenced by initiating sex with my partner 2-3x per month.
• By the end of 6 months, we will have sex 1-2x per week by planning date nights each week.
• By the end of next week, I will talk to my partner about what turns me on sexually and will practice asking for what I want/need.

When you lose focus, imagine the possibilities if you were to accomplish this goal. What would it mean for you, your partner, your relationship, your family if this goal were to be accomplished?

This year, my goal is to grow spiritually with my husband. My plan to do that is for us to complete a couple’s devotional/workbook this year, something we’ve never done before. First, I have to have that conversation with him to ensure he is on board. Then, we may need to plan a time to go to a bookstore to explore options for us. After that, we may make the purchase. And finally, set aside the time to do our work and honor that commitment to ourselves.

Once you set a goal in this way, you will find it is easier to achieve. That will help you and your partner to continue with that positive momentum and continue setting goals that grow your relationship in a positive direction.

Unsure what kind of goal to set for your relationship or how to make a plan to make it stick? Feeling stuck?Our trained therapists are here to help you and your lover ignite your relationship this year, whether you’re wanting to feel stable and secure, or wanting to elevate a good relationship to a great one. Our therapists are here to help you assess where you’re at, where you can go, and provide you with the roadmap to get there. Call us today to schedule an appointment at 678-796-8255 or feel free to schedule online. Whatever you do, don’t wait another day. We’ve got big things to accomplish in 2017!

Will My Therapist Tell Me to Divorce?

So, you may be thinking about marriage or couples counseling and have started looking for a therapist. Finding the right fit can be confusing and sometimes a bit of a challenge, especially if you don't know what to expect. Many clients are nervous that when they finally do meet with their therapist, they will be met with some kind of fate about the relationship and that they will possibly hear something they don't want to. This is extremely normal and common for many individuals and couples pursuing therapy. If you're wondering if a therapist will tell you what to do regarding your relationship, then we have an answer for you.

Often times, we find ourselves working with 2 kinds of clients when it comes to this topic: the kind who want to leave the relationship and are afraid of being told to stay (whether it is for financial, religious, or moral reasons) and those who want to stay in the relationship but are afraid of being told they are crazy for staying and should thus leave or divorce. So, will we tell you to stay in a relationship or leave it? The answer is no.

We work with lots of couples, and we have seen a little bit of everything. With that being said, we really value marriage and the fulfillment that comes with a healthy and highly satisfying relationship. On the other hand, we also value clients' individual needs and how sometimes the way to live a life of fulfillment means to leave a relationship that doesn't allow for safety, security, and satisfaction. It is our job to meet clients where they are at and support them in their decision making. This means that we are not at all invested in whether you stay in the relationship or leave it. Sounds a little crazy coming from a couples clinic, right?

Here's our reasoning: If we get too invested in you working on your marriage when you really want to leave, you will likely feel judged, unable to be honest in session, and most likely won't see progress because you won't be invested in repairing the relationship. This simply isn't helpful for you. Also, if you really want to stay in the relationship but we are invested in you ending it, then you may feel like something is wrong for you for wanting to stay. Instead, our job is not to force you to stay or leave. Our job is to help you take a look at the relationship as a whole, all of the moving parts within the relationship, and yourself/your mate on an individual level so that you can make the best decision for YOU...and not what your well-meaning friends and family want you to do or think you should do.

We are invested in one thing: your integrity. If you decide to end the relationship, we have your back and will support you in your decision and help you navigate the next steps. If you decide that you're all in and you want to work on the relationship, then we have your back there and will support you in that decision. It is important to us that you get what you need, that you can be honest with your therapist, and that you can make decisions that feel authentic and genuine for you, so that you can begin to live an authentic life where you feel confident about your decisions. After all, they are your decisions...not someone else's. 

You may be wondering, "but what if I am torn and I don't know what decision to make?" That's ok. We can meet you where you're at, explore all your options, consider all factors, and examine your needs so that we can help you arrive at a decision that is best for you and your mate. And if you need some time to figure it all out, that's ok. We will have your back, no matter what.

Ready to start exploring what the next best step is for you and your relationship without judgment or force? We are here to help. Call today at 678-796-8255 or schedule online and let's see how we can get started.

9 Communication Traps to Avoid

The majority of couples that I work with (and even individuals) tell me that communication is a struggle for them. Either they don’t feel heard or understood, or they can’t keep a simple disagreement from escalating to unhealthy levels, or they feel like what they say isn’t important. HOW you argue is more important that HOW OFTEN you argue. If you have daily spats, but are able to address them quickly and create a resolve, that can be more healthy than arguing once a month, but never resolving the issue and communicating in a way that harms the relationship. One of the first steps in learning to communicate clearly and effectively is understanding what to eliminate in your communication style.

1. Criticism. Criticism is a guaranteed way to set up a conversation to fail. Critical comments (when unsolicited) paint the other person’s character in a bad light, usually to make someone right and someone wrong. These statements usually start with the word “YOU” followed by something negative. (You never listen to me, you think you’re always right, you’re just so selfish, you are inconsiderate and thoughtless).

2. Defensiveness. Defensiveness is a natural and triggered response to criticism. It pulls you into playing the game of “let’s find the bad guy” to ultimately decide who is right and who is wrong. Some examples include making excuses or trying to justify your behavior, firing back with your own complaint, saying YES-- BUT (appearing to agree, then disagreeing), or repeating yourself without hearing the other person.

3. Contempt. Contempt is extremely dangerous in relationships because it is intended to insult their character or cause harm. Contempt is like throwing the below-the-belt-punch, or pouring salt on the wound. It is often spiteful and vindictive. Sarcasm, mockery, name-calling, and even laughing at your partner’s hurt, rolling your eyes, or asking rhetorical questions that your partner can’t answer are all communication traps that display disrespect and disregard for the other person. This one has the potential to make or break relationships.

4. Stonewalling. Stonewalling is a form of shutting down and withdrawing to escape conflict at all costs. While it looks like you’re trying to end the conflict, it conveys distance, disconnect, and creates an icy chill that leaves the other person feeling alone. Examples include physically leaving the room during conflict, giving the silent treatment, one-word responses (yep, ok, whatever, sure, nope, alright, fine…).

5. Overgeneralizing. This happens when you attach all-inclusive words such as always, never, everybody, nobody, every time, all. This will suck you into a debate about facts. Saying “You never listen to me” might trigger a defensive response like “That’s not true. I listen to you sometimes.” Again, you get sucked into arguing about who is right and wrong instead of the heart of the matter.

6. Lacking Empathy. When we get pulled into a “who is right and who is wrong” dynamic, it becomes increasingly difficult to really hear what your partner is saying, especially if you’re playing defense. We then begin listening to respond instead listening to understand. (I am going to hear what you are saying but in my mind I am already formulating a response based on how wrong you are versus I am trying to really understand how you’re upset or how that I hurt you or caused you pain--whether intentional or not.) If you can learn to connect and imagine putting yourself in the other person’s shoes, it is easier to attend to what they are trying to communicate to you, and makes it easier to find resolve. The reason is that it will validate the other person’s feelings, and conveys understanding. When they ask themselves the question “are you really there for me?” the answer will be YES.

7. Win vs. Lose. This mentality is a trap for relationships and communication because it implies that if one person is right, the other must be wrong rather than offering the possibility that both parties can be both right AND wrong. It isn’t always an either/or dichotomy. However, even if you can own when you make mistakes, being able to address that can quell the fire and draw you partner closer. At the end of the day, isn’t that WIN/WIN?

8. Lack of Accountability. Accountability is one of the cornerstones of trust. When we fail to acknowledge our role in conflict or someone’s pain and we don’t own it, we lose their ability to trust us more fully. The relationship can then become compromised and begin to break down. Accountability is a measure of integrity, and someone being willing to do the right thing even when it is difficult. Accountability means owning your stuff (not justifying your behavior) and recognizing when you make a mistake, genuinely apologizing that someone experienced pain, making amends, and problem solving how to keep it from happening again. “I took my anger out on you. I did not mean to hurt you. I am truly sorry for that. I will work on not blowing up on you.” vs “Sorry if I hurt you, ok? Let’s just drop it. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, but I was upset.”

9. Arguing Perspective. If you were raised to believe the color of the sky is green while your partner was raised to believe it is yellow, you cannot convince them that the sky is infact green any more than they can convince you to believe it is yellow. This is a trap for communication, again, because it sets you up to argue right vs. wrong, making someone a bad guy, and someone the loser of the battle. Understand that both perspectives are valid and have merit. The sooner you can appreciate the other person’s perspective (understand how it makes sense to them) and respect it (that doesn’t mean agree with it), the quicker you can restore connection, empathy, and the ability to resolve conflict quickly.

Do you notice some of these traps happening in your relationship? Want to learn how to change it? Call me today at 678-796-8255 or schedule an appointment online!

HOW TO GET THE MOST OUT OF MARRIAGE COUNSELING

Feeling nervous or uncertain about marriage counseling? Are you looking for some guarantee that you'll see changes? Worried about putting the fate of your relationship solely in the hands of a stranger? You're not alone! Today, I'd like to share with you some tips on how to get the most out of marriage counseling. These secrets can give you more control in your marriage counseling experience so that you can increase your chances of seeing changes more quickly and getting the results you want.

SELECT A THERAPIST THAT SPECIALIZES IN MARRIAGE THERAPY.

You may not know it, but there are therapists and counselors out there who specialize in certain areas of expertise, and while a generalist may be able to know a little about a lot, you may be able to make better progress if you work with a clinician with a marriage therapy speciality. Be on the lookout for the letters LMFT behind a therapist’s name, which stands for Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Or, ask your counselor or therapist of interest how many couples they see each week in their office or what percentage of married couples they work with to get a sense of if they will be a good fit or not. Think of it this way, if you had a heart problem, you may be better served if you sought out a cardiologist for your cardiac issues rather than continuing to work with your general practitioner.

PICK A THERAPIST YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH.

This is really important. If you don’t “jive” with your therapist, or you get some gut feeling that doesn’t sit well with you, keep searching. It is important that you work with someone who fits your style, understands your personality, and is caring and compassionate regardless of the details you bring to the table. I’ve heard of married couples who have worked with a therapist (who probably didn’t specialize in marriage therapy) who told the couple they just needed to go ahead and divorce. If you get that advice, and it doesn’t sit well with you, please continue searching. There IS a therapist out there (like me!) who won’t tell you that you’re relationship is doomed from the start. Some therapists may be able to incorporate some humor, some religious beliefs, some homework, or whatever you feel comfortable with. Don’t forget that therapists are people, too, and you need to work with someone you like. Otherwise, you may not get what you need.

BE HONEST.

Once you have found a therapist you can feel comfortable with, it increases the likelihood that you’ll be open and honest. Be willing to talk about difficult truths, otherwise, your therapist is only left to fix or help you repair a lie, and that will be a waste of your time and money. If you don’t feel comfortable being honest with your spouse in the room, as the therapist for some individual time to express your concerns.

BE PATIENT.

Your relationship probably didn’t get into a rut overnight. It also won’t get out of the rut overnight. Unfortunately, therapists don’t have a magic wand they can wave to immediately remedy complex marriage concerns. Sometimes it takes a few sessions before you start to see some positive traction, this is because there may be weeks/months/years worth of anger, hurt, or resentment to sort through to begin to make sense of how you got into the rut. Find out how your therapist does his/her best work to accelerate progress. Think of it like this: if you wanted to lose weight, you probably wouldn’t see progress after 1 workout or 1 healthy meal. You’d see progress after the weeks or months of effort.

ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED.

There is no one-size-fits-all kind of therapy. Therapists are constantly customizing the process to fit your situation and your needs. If you need more or less of something, have a discussion about it with your therapist. This ties into finding out how your therapist does his/her best work. If your therapist does their best work if you come weekly, have a conversation with them if you can only come twice monthly. They may be able to give you longer sessions, or a special time slot, or a VIP session to fit your needs. Otherwise, your therapist has no clue how to tweak your sessions or their approach unless you’re willing to communicate what you need.

BE VULNERABLE.

This is a tough one. Being willing to speak from the heart and discuss your deepest longings or deepest fears is difficult. But, it is also one of the most powerful things you can do in therapy. It is a version of being open and honest, but it also gives you the opportunity to be authentic. Often, we put up walls and keep people out to protect ourselves, but being vulnerable in a safe place (in session) can give your spouse the opportunity to really get to know your authentic self. I’ve seen spouses who feel “numb” or “angry” or like they don’t know if they want to be married anymore...keeping their partner at a distance. But, when they get vulnerable and talk about how they may feel sad, or despondent, or lonely, it gives their mate a glimpse of what’s really going on, and can give them permission to draw closer.

TAKE NOTES.

Be willing to attend session with a notepad and a pen if your therapist doesn’t have some for you to use. This is a great way to remember the take-away points. Jot down the “light bulb moments” or things you learned in session, or what stood out to you. This will allow you to look back and reflect. It is also a great way to continue to get your bang for your buck. Rather than meeting with your therapist to repeat previous content (that you may have forgotten), you can refer back to your notes. Taking notes can make it easier to implement what you learn each session. It can also make it easier to come to your next session with questions, insights, or new challenges that you want to focus on.

IMPLEMENT WHAT YOU LEARN EACH WEEK.

One error in thinking that many married couples make is that the therapist is doing all the work, or that all the work occurs in session. The couples that make the most progress are the ones who implement what they learn in session OUTSIDE of their session time. If you learn fair-fighting skills, you will not make the progress you want if you only practice those skills in session. Be willing to implement those skills in between session or to do your homework that's been assigned to you. That is where the real work and the real change occurs.

DISCUSS IT WITH YOUR SPOUSE AFTERWARD.

Reflect on session with your spouse. Talk about what you learned about each other. Also, talk about what you learned, noticed, or observed about yourself. Many married couples find themselves in trouble after they’ve spent months or years avoiding difficult conversations or neglecting the need to check-in with each other to see what’s working well in the relationship or what could make the marriage richer. Beginning to talk outside of session gets your wheels turning and gives you some momentum to move forward. It is also a wonderful way of communicating that your marriage satisfaction is a priority.

COME TO APPOINTMENTS CONSISTENTLY.

Research shows after 10-14 days between sessions, that you can lose therapeutic benefit. This means that if you come to therapy once a week for 8 weeks, you will see better progress than if you spaced those sessions out over the course of 6 months or a year. This means that in the long run, you save time, money, and possibly even your marriage. Follow your therapist’s recommendations. In my experience, the couples who follow recommendations and show up consistently see progress more quickly.

DON’T GET DISTRACTED BY DETAILS

Sessions typically last between 45-60 minutes, unless you request longer sessions. It is easy for session time to fly by. Resist the temptation to spend the session time discussing WHAT your last argument was about. It doesn’t matter if it was money, sex, kids, or who forgot to take out the trash or feed the dog. What will be important is if you spend your time instead focusing on HOW you argue. Do you yell? Shut down? Call names? Leave the house? Your therapist can help you pinpoint your relationship patterns which will be key in seeing changes in your marriage. Your therapist doesn’t necessarily need to know the he-said, she-said details to see your pattern. Focusing on the bigger picture rather than getting lost in the details can save you time, and money, thus helping you see progress more quickly.

SELF PAY.

While paying out of pocket is not always desired or inexpensive, it certainly has its perks when considering marriage counseling. In order for insurance to pay for marriage counseling, one spouse must be diagnosed with a mental disorder. This means that the scope of your therapy focus will be centered around treating that diagnosis, not necessarily your marriage concerns. It also means that you will have a mental disorder diagnosis on your permanent medical record, which can affect your insurance premiums or long-term life insurance. It also means that your therapist may have to communicate with the insurance companies about your treatment and may have to write a report that says you are getting better, but you are still “sick” enough to require treatment for that disorder. This puts some limits on confidentiality. If you choose to self pay, it means you and your therapist get to decide what to work on and when, and that means without diagnosis one spouse with a disorder. As a result, you get to hit the ground running in session and really get to focus on the heart of the matter, and you have increased privacy and confidentiality. you get the FREEDOM to work in a way that is a fit for you and your marriage and not dictated by others.

INVEST IN YOURSELF

Therapy is not easy, nor inexpensive. We therapists get that. It is an investment. That means marriage therapy isn’t for everybody. It is for people who want to invest in their marriage, their commitment, themselves, and their spouse. It is for those who really want to maximize their experience with their spouse, whether it is to improve sex, parenting, communication, or intimacy and trust. To get the most out of this process, be willing to invest in yourself. Learn about how you operate in relationships. This doesn’t necessarily mean you tell your therapist about everything your spouse does wrong. You can often see progress more quickly if you learn early on how you can bring your best self to the table. Rather than focusing time and energy on how to change your spouse, discover how you can be the catalyst for change by bringing your best foot forward.

Now that you know how you can maximize your marriage therapy experience, you may be more inspired to take action. In my experience, the couples who take in this information, follow recommendations, and really do the subtle behind-the-scenes work are the ones who transform their marriages most rapidly. I’ve worked with couples who in 3 months went from considering divorce to feeling blissful in their marriage and experiencing another honeymoon phase. Knowing that you can have some tips to increasing therapy effectiveness can be empowering and reassuring. And that is what I want for you, to feel empowered and reassured that there is hope for your marriage.

If you’re ready to make an investment in your marriage and yourself, and want to work with a licensed marriage therapist in the CARROLTON area who is caring and compassionate, call today at 678-796-8255 or schedule an appointment online 24/7.