If you are recently engaged, approaching engagement, or considering marriage to your partner, you may have heard of pre-marital counseling. These days, it is not uncommon for pastors or certain churches to require it of couples before they walk down the aisle together. If you are wondering how it works, or what to expect from the process, here is a glimpse into how I work with premarital couples.
I hold a PREPARE/ENRICH certification, so I use the PREPARE/ENRICH curriculum to guide our premarital work together. You may be wondering what PREPARE/ENRICH is. PREPARE/ENRICH is a customized couples assessment that you take online that takes a snapshot of where your relationship is and helps you identify areas in your relationship that are a strength or asset, and areas of your relationship that has opportunity for growth. It is also the #1 premarital inventory and couples assessment tool and has been used over the last 30 years.
Each partner will take an online assessment. You will complete it individually and it is very thorough, and takes about 45 minutes to complete. It provides a snapshot of your relationship, and after analyzing your results, it will show us what areas of their relationship is strong, and what areas could use a little extra growth or reinforcement. Then, I will meet with you in person to review your results and help guide you through what it means. This will give us a guide for where to start and where to focus our time and energy. Topics that get covered are: communication, conflict resolution, trust, intimacy, finances, family, personality differences, and even religion if that is important to you as a couple. We also can go over other areas of interest if desired.
Areas of the assessment are customized, such as if you want the assessment to be faith-based, if you’ve been previously married, if there are children involved, etc. In fact, if children are already involved, you may opt to have the assessment that includes a parenting track, helping learn how to blend families or learn to co-parent more effectively together.
As a couple, you will receive your results in your Couples Report that shows graphs and data based on your findings, and it guides you through what kinds of relationship skills you can be working on to enrich your relationship and prepare for life together. You will also receive a couple’s workbook filled with tools, skills, and exercises designed to help you reach your relationship goals, helping you to:
- Explore strength and growth areas
- Strengthen communication skills
- Identify and manage major stressors
- Resolve conflict using the Ten Step Model
- Develop a more balanced relationship
- Explore family of origin issues
- Discuss financial planning and budgeting
- Establish personal, couple and family goals
- Understand and appreciate personality differences
We can spend as few or as many sessions together as you like, just depending on how many areas you want to focus. However, I recommend a minimum of 6 sessions, to ensure you can cover all the content necessary. Aside from PREPARE/ENRICH, I help you explore your ability to handle hot-topics that I commonly see in my work with couples, and provide you with ideas on how you can continue to get your needs met from each other even when the going gets tough. This information will give you a foundation for your marriage so that you can have a relationship that stands the test of time.
I like to make this fun for couples, so when you come, you will have snacks & treats, beverages, notepads & pens, your couples report, and your workbook.
I love that you and your partner are interested in premarital counseling. Many couples spend lots of time, energy, and money focusing on the wedding and searching for the perfect dress, venue, flowers, music, cake, food, etc...and as lovely as it all will be, it is wonderful that premarital counseling is the one thing you will spend money on that will provide you with a return on your investment. Premarital counseling isn’t for everyone, I understand. But it is for those of you who are interested in investing in your relationship foundation, as it will be your marriage that stands the test of time when the beautiful details of the wedding are just a memory.